What The Hell did I just watch (aka the WTF songs)

Top Five WTF Songs/Entries:

There are some songs that you watch during the competitions, that either leave you scratching your head, or upset/angry that these have wasted the viewing public's time, or the taste level of the public that got these songs to where they are.  Overall, though, these five entries below leave you with a sense of wonder...and leave you thinking "What Did I just witness and Why?"

1. Dustin The Turkey's Irelande Douze Points was performed (note, I didn't say sing) during the First Semi Final at the 2008 Contest in Belgrade on behalf of Ireland and by far the most ridiculous song ever presented in Eurovision's history (though the others on the list are close to being just as bad).  Thankfully the song never made the Final show (or I may have been writing about the first puppet-contestant who won Eurovision instead):

2. Cetin Alp & The Short Waves's Opera was performed at the 1983 Munich Contest on behalf of Turkey and scored the country's first ever nul point.  In an attempt by national broadcaster TRT to send a "modern" song that would be understood by the mostly Western European audience, this travesty included repeated bleatings of the word Opera along with references to great opera composers (like Mozart, Beethoven and Vivaldi) and the induction of various opera references (i.e. aria, diva).  Let's just say the song should have been called Trying Way Too Hard and Failing Miserably and leave it at that:

3. Stefan Raab's Wadde Hadde Dude Da was performed at the 2000 Stockholm Contest on behalf of Germany and finishing in a surprising fifth place (here surprising may be the understatement of that year's competition).  Later admitting that he only entered the Contest to show what a joke it had become, Raab is one of the main reasons that Germany's Eurovision entries have seen vast improvement (by either winning or placing in the Top Ten) over his tenure of the national selection show Unser Song fur ...[fill in the name of host city of that year's Eurovision].  I think we can forgive him for this, but certainly not forget:

4. Laka's Pokusaj was performed at the 2008 Belgrade Contest on behalf of Bosnia-Herzegovina and earned its place as one of the most bizarre songs to compete in Eurovision's history.  Evidence:  Four back-up singers in wedding dresses knitting; one Helena Bonham-Carter wannabe "vocalist" shrilling through the song; and a h(a/e)ck of a lead "singer" who bounced around the stage like he had smoked something that he shouldn't have when he had this "idea" (you know I'm upset when the airquotes come out) for a song.  And this placed in the Top Ten.  Ugh:

5. Kolig Kaj's Stemmen I mit liv was performed at the 1997 Dublin Contest representing Denmark, this was the epitome of WTF, before it was hip to be awful to get noticed at Eurovision.  Unfortunately, this performance was neither intended to be ironic, nor thought to be bad at the time it was sent to the Contest by the Danish public, who were shocked when it received only 25 points and finished 16th (YES, there were nine songs thought to be worse than this, including two nul point entries by Norway and Portugal).  This was considered ground-breaking at the time, and I did not have the sense of humor to laugh it away in the years that have passed since...obviously I still struggle (which is why it's on this list):

UPDATE:

SPECIAL (SO NOT IN A GOOD WAY) MENTION:  I just watched Who See's performance of Igranka at this year's First Semi Final, and the live version was worse than the introductory videos suggested.  Let me summarize:  "Rappers" in astronaut suits aglow from inside and bouncing around on stage like what I imagine faux Sumo wrestlers in a backyard would look like, female lead singer in presumably leather space cadet catsuit with severe ponytail and some sort of Borg-inspired headgear, and a light "show" that nearly induced an epileptic seizure.  This is the video from the dress rehearsal (I'll update with the actual live performance, once I get my hands on it):